


Radiance Captured

by DirtyDaveStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:18:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyDaveStrider/pseuds/DirtyDaveStrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux Captor's birthday is always the blowout party of the year, whether he likes it or not. Each year his friends throw a surprise party from hell and this year is no different. The location is terrible, the pinata is spiked, and for some reason guests keep disappearing. As the guest count drops Sollux soars to new party limits, oblivious to the mayhem around him. In the company of a strange new guest he loses sight of his own party, but will he gain it back in time to save what's left of it? </p>
<p>Humanstuck AU with a twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Radiance Captured

The party was bumpin, the beats were sick, the drinks were flowin, and Sollux was nowhere to be found. Even at his own birthday party he moped in solitude and wandered off when he thought no one would notice. Of course, someone did.

“Hey! Have you seen Sollux? The fucker’s MIA and it’s his fucking party!” demanded Karkat as he shook Gamzee by the shoulders.

“Hey brother you gotta let that motherfucker do all what he aims to do. It’s his miracle and he’s gotta motherfucking embrace his motherfucking birth in whatever way all speaks to him. Honk.”

Karkat narrowed his eyes in discernment of Gamzee’s ramblings. “Gamzee, are you stoned again?”

“Nah brother why you all be askin’?”

“....”

“Honk.”

“That’s why!” Karkat said with a jab of his finger into Gamzee’s chest. “You always pull this clown shit whenever you’re high. You are not a clown! I don’t care what you say about your fucking family tree and its balancing acts on every fucking branch. Do you even know how to juggle?!”

Gamzee wobbled a bit as he swatted Karkat’s hand away. “Psssshhhh you’re motherfucking right, I don’t!” Then he stared absently towards the wall, marking the end of this mundane conversation and an utter waste of Karkat’s time.

This whole party had been a waste of Karkat’s time. Terezi had twisted his arm into helping her throw this stupid surprise party and the only surprise was her face when Sollux flipped the guests off upon his arrival. It hadn’t upset the atmosphere though. This was somewhat expected of Sollux because of his disastrous party the year before. There had been too many tequila shots and not enough bad jokes to ease the tension when Vriska pushed Tavros over the balcony, resulting in a subsequent trip to the ER. That didn’t stop John from trying to lighten the mood with his dad jokes though. In fact, his sorry attempt at reviving the doomed party only made matters worse. That is, of course, if you consider the drunken make-out session between John and Vriska when she swooped in to shut him up with her lips to be any worse than paralysis. Regardless, everyone was uncomfortable and the events of that night were never spoken of again.

Just as he was searching for him now, Karkat had also spent most of that party searching for Sollux. The damn gloom cloud of a kid was too much to handle sometimes. Particularly when gathered around people as the guest of honor. The guy just went bananas. He couldn’t stand the attention. Karkat always took it upon himself to pry Sollux out of his pitiful shell, whether Sollux wanted to or not. Generally he didn’t and would make a point of staying stone faced and silent in whatever interactions followed. Karkat knew this was for his own good even if Sollux vehemently disagreed. The guy just didn’t know how to have fun and Karkat was determined to turn that around. 

He continued to peruse the party in search of his dismal friend. He weaved between guests, asking each as he passed whether they’d seen Sollux.

“Sollux? Nah, haven’t seen the guy. I figured he was off with Feferi getting his game on,” said Dave, who couldn’t care less and was itching to get back to his rap battle with Tavros.

“Yeah, last I saw of him he was lurking in the corner of the kitchen, but that was awhile ago.” offered Tavros.

“Whatever,” said Karkat. “As usual you both have been as helpful as a tick lodged between my ass cheeks. Which is to say, you’re both a complete waste of my fucking time.”

Dave scoffed. “Yo Crabcakes McCrabbypants it’s not like he blew off his own fucking party. Even he has more sense than that. Excuse me while I go back to schooling Tavros in a verbal assault of tight rhymes and loose morals.”

“Yeah, Dave! But not before I school you...uh....on a field trip to the zoo! These words that I slew will...uh...um…”

“This is pathetic.” Karkat rolled his eyes and stormed off to a group of girls who were no doubt sharing every last insipid feeling with each other through slurred, drunken garble.

“Ladies! Allow me to interrupt your no doubt riveting tales of menstruation and hormonal imbalances to say something fucking important-”

“GOD! Karkat, you are such a buzzkill. Shoo! Shoo, shoo, shoo!” Vriska batted him away, as if that would do anything other than further piss him off.

“Vriska, would you chill for once? I think he really does have something important to say, otherwise he wouldn’t be crashing our conversation,” said Jade. 

“Yeah, except he totally would crash in on us whether it was important or not. He takes everything too seriously,” Rose retorted.

“Okay, can we stop pretending that I can’t hear you? For fuck’s sake! This is actually important! Sollux is missing and we’re about to cut the cake.”

At that the girls busted out laughing. Cake is always of the utmost importance in every situation. Obviously! Maybe if they knew how many fucking hours went into this decadent cake they would fucking shut their traps!

Exasperated, Karkat wandered off again. There was no use in finding Sollux anyway. In a battle between stubborn sulking sons of bitches they were evenly matched and in no way willing to step down from a fight. Because it was his birthday, Karkat figured he’d let Sollux win this one. Let someone else deal with his drama queen shenanigans. Besides, Terezi was rigging the pinata and Karkat was bound and determined to switch out the candy with miniature bottles of liquor. This elaborate plan required cunning and finesse. Only a fucking boss like Karkat could pull it off and doing so required his full, undivided attention. So what if Sollux missed the ritual slaughtering of a papier mache unicorn? He didn’t even like to drink.

With that, Karkat decisively chose to not care about the birthday boy, despite his stubborn determination to figure out what the fuck happened to him. It was all too much of a headache anyway.  
__________________________________________________________________________

The party was hosted in Terezi’s apartment - a tiny, leaky shithole just outside of the city. The elevator had been broken for quite some time and repairs were promised, though never followed through upon. Terezi didn’t mind. She had grown accustomed to climbing the 8 floors to her apartment and was pleased with how fit she’d become. The party goers, however, were not impressed. With each arrival Terezi would open the door to find a panting friend looking somewhat irritated by the unexpected physical exertion. Perhaps she should have warned them of the involuntary workout to get here. Oh well. It wasn’t her problem. If anything she was doing them all a favor by enlightening them to the power of walking--a much underappreciated form of exercise, but effective nonetheless.

Despite her grumpy guests, Terezi felt pleased by her excellent hosting skills. Her ability to get a party going was renowned amongst her friends, even if she was the only one to believe so. This disillusionment complemented her charm nicely, however. Her oblivious nature could calm any storm between friends with a simple subject change in the conversation, typically steered towards dragon lore. It was while she was soothing an argument between Vriska and Jade (apparently spurred by a debate about the necessity of cake) that the doorbell rang, announcing the final guests.

“Excuse me, I believe someone’s at the door,” she said smoothly to the relief of both Vriska and Jade, who couldn’t stand another lesson in dragon reproduction. She marched off and opened the door with a friendly smile.

“Equius! I’m so glad you could come!”

“Yes, well, it’s not like I had a choice. Nepeta kind of buggered me into doing this. I’ve never even met the guy, but I brought him a gift anyway. I wasn’t sure what he’d like so I fell back on my go-to gift idea. It never ceases to please! As you know I’m a remarkable oil painter and I find that centaur erotica generally goes over well with absolutely everybody.”

“Uh-huh….” Terezi disagreed, but as an excellent host she wasn’t about to say otherwise.

“Attack pounce!!”

Nepeta flew out of nowhere and into Equius’ arms. If it weren’t a known fact that their friendship was entirely platonic they could easily be suspected of having romantic inclinations towards each other. Their bond was so strong and all consuming that Equius forgot to introduce his guest. In a flash of rationality he stopped petting Nepeta’s hair and set her down. Nepeta ceased to purr.

“Equius, what’s the matter?”

“Er, not in front of my girlfriend Nepeta.”

Nepeta curiously cocked her head to the side. “Girlfriend? What girlfriend?”

Equius turned, expecting his girlfriend to be standing beside him. To his amazement she was gone.

“Was that the girl who came with you?” Terezi interjected. “She slipped past while you were fondling Nepeta.”

“I was not fondling!” A bead of sweat trickled down his cheek. “Did you see which way she went?”

Terezi frowned. “You know I have a disability, Equius. How dare you insult my senses? Besides,” she scoffed, “In this thick cloud of smells I can’t make out a singular scent. It’s more like a charming potpourri, with an undertone of hard liquor. Quite an enchanting bouquet.”

“Yes, well as much as I’d like to stop and smell the roses, I really should find her. She’s no doubt upset by my excessive displays of affection towards Nepeta.” A pool of sweat threatened to stream down his face. He hadn’t caught on to the universal rule that one must always bring a towel.

“Equius, I’m sure she understands,” said Nepeta.

“Alas! She surely does not because I neglected to inform her of our friendship! What have I done? I have forsaken my love!”

His perspiration exposed the clusterfuck of emotions churning inside Equius’ mind. The floodgates opened, so to say, both for his moist complexion and his tears of frustration. Though Nepeta bathed the sweat from his forehead with her tongue, Equius somehow didn’t find this familiar gesture as comforting as usual. If anything it furthered his distress. He yearned to find her, but the search would have to wait until after his bath.  
__________________________________________________________________________

Sollux reveled in the silent peace of the 5th floor fire escape. Just on the fringe of the party’s limits, he responsibly attended his fully anticipated surprise party. Fucking every year. Why was he the only one of his friends to get shitty surprise parties? He couldn’t tell you, but everyone else knew it was a lottery to plan the blow out party of the year. Because he wouldn’t plan it himself, the party planner was determined by an annual raffle. Karkat refused to partake in the shenanigans on the sole principle that gambling was a waste of time. Everyone else competed to throw the Most Legendary Party. 

Terezi could win if Sollux maintained 2 hours of participation at his own party. So far the closest anyone had gotten was about an hour and a half. Unbeknownst to Sollux, the crowd of partygoers had all cast bets for his return. The odds were not in Terezi’s favor.

Sollux happily absorbed himself into his GameBoy.

So happily absorbed was he that the presence of a stranger in his personal bubble went unnoticed. The stranger solemnly pouted on the steps of the fire escape. She was unaware of his presence as well.

Tweedlee-dee-deedeeee!

“Yeth!”

“Pfffft!!”

Both parties clapped their hands over their mouths.

“Who’th there?” Sollux snapped. He really hoped it wasn’t Vriska. Two ER trips in his past parties were enough; did she have to go for a record?

A dull looking girl with tangled waves of hair rose to her feet from her perch on the steps. “Do you really talk like that?”

“Do you alwayth thtart your converthaythunth with an inthult?”

“Wow, you do have a lisp.”

Sollux rolled his eyes and faced the girl. “What are you doing here? Who thent you to find me?”

She smirked. “Are you hiding from someone?”

“No, I jutht don’t want to be dithturbed. Who are you anyway? Thum party crather?”

She shrugged. “Something like that.” She leaned over the railing next to him. “Is that a GameBoy?”

He stepped away. “Yeah, tho?”

“I haven’t seen one of those since I was 13.”

“Well maybe thum people like portable game playerth.” Sollux said.

“I wasn’t judging you.” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you shy?”

Sollux flushed & darted his attention back to his game. The girl persisted. With a peek over his shoulder she saw two crudely drawn men attacking a pizza monster with sporks. Ah, yes - Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff Conquer the Munchies; a classic. As she recognized it she snickered. Sollux’ personal bubble was about to pop.

“Good taste, dude,” she said. ”This game far surpasses that lame party on the fun level.”

Pop.

Sollux whipped around to face her and snarled, yes, snarled at the startled girl. “There ith nothing wrong with the party, it’th a perfectly good party!”

“No it’s not, or else we wouldn’t be here on this fire escape.” The girl cast her eyes away. “Why else would you be alone out here?”

“Maybe I’m not ready to go in there, ok? I’m not the thothial type. What’th your excuthe? The keg ran dry?”

The girl shot him a hurt look. “Hey! I’m not here for the booze!”

“They why are you here? You clearly don’t know whothe party it ith.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Becauthe it’th mine.”

Sollux strode up to her, broadened his shoulders, and looked intensely into her eyes.

“You may be thum friend of a friend of a friend tho perhapth you didn’t know. My birthday partieth are alwayth the rager of the year. No one ripth on my partieth! If you need me to fucking prove it to you I will! I’ll thow you how fucking great thith party ith; I’ll go motherfucking bananath!”

“ARADIA!”

They both spun around in surprise. A comically muscular guy with greasy hair and greasier skin patted his forehead with a towel. He glanced from Sollux to the girl and quivered.

“Did I offend you, Aradia? Is that why you came out here with another man?”

“What?” Sollux yelled. “I don’t even know you people! Who let you into my party?”

“Oh my. This is not what is seems….You must be Sollux. I didn’t mean to ruin your first impression of me. I have made a blunder of everything!” said Equius.

Aradia turned back towards Sollux with a bewildered look. “So you’re Sollux Captor?” She started to smirk, then eyed Equius & settled her composure. “It’s….nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, thure, the pleathure’th all mine. Look. If THITH right here ith what my partieth have come to, then tho be it. But beyond that, I’m fucking done. No more random ath people bringing their loother drama to my doorstep. From here on out we’re partying MY way, and don’t let me thugar coat it for you baby, we’re going out with a BANG! Now that you’re along for the ride, you’re getting a front row theat to why thethe raging partieth thould NEVER EVER EVER happen again. You want rage? Oh honey, you’ll GET rage!”

Sollux heaved with tantrumed breaths. In his fuming spiel he’d become blind to his usual front of apathetic nonchalance. Not that it had even been apathetic, per se, but rather contained. Neither Aradia nor Equius knew what to make of their host’s disheveled introduction.

“Sir….am I your ‘honey’? I’m not certain, but it seemed to me that--”

“ENOUGH! You want it? You get it. You’re tonight’th pinata and you better believe I’m first up to bat.”

“...Sir….Sir, I…………….I nobly accept.”

“Come here you creepy piethe of thit!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published fanfiction in nearly 10 years - wow! Super rusty, don't mind me. Just having a bit of fun with an idea. This will evolve beyond party limits and hopefully go in a completely far out direction. Or I may scrap it, who knows? Why not stick around for the ride?


End file.
